Shh! Psst, hey Ardlair....looky heah...under mah...

Ardlair, C'mon over heah darlin' ...I gots sompin' fer ya....shhh.. tip toe, now...shhh..I jes' wanna show yer a little ole secret 'bout Aunty B, what's underneath my prissy exterior, iffin' ya knows what I mean?

NAW! Now ya'll...go away, this heah ain't fer ya'll. It's for Ardlair's eyes only. (Savin' mah true self for ya, Ardlair)

So ya'll go round ter the FRONT Porch. Go on now, heah? No peeking back either. Some thangs is private...very very private.

They gone? Yer sure? Ok, goody, then Ardlair, c'mon sweet thang, I'se got jes' what youse been thinkin' on anyway....uh huh, c'mon, now....doan be shy, honey....

Dawg!! Dangit! Doan be slinkin' round heah. Get'cha self back round to the Front Porch--I done throwed a bone out fer ya under the steps...take Freya and Bird too.

Sigh, Contessa, baby, can yer do me a favor--put a leash on that rambunctious Dawg and take him round back...they's cookies fer ya'll on the wicker table, fresh baked. Keep a look out in case Bawgs wanders over--he doan need to see this...(one man at a time is mah best speed).

Sigh...well, it's quiet Ardy, uh sorry! Ardlair. Let's jes' wait a moment to be sure...they's all gone?? C'mon over heah and sit wif me on the swing...fine evening ain't it? We'uns can reveal our true selves, cain;t we? Ain't pretendin' to be somethang else a trial, jes' gits so wearying, doan it? Well, I'm ready--youse know us ole girls still have a secret or two, doan'cha?

Shh...Cause' ya knows I'm gonna show yer what I'se wearin' under this heah high necked lady like frilliness (tee hee..now doan go gettin' fresh!)

Ok, honey, this here is what I knows ya been thinkin and thinkin about...wait the buttons...OK ok, I got em undone...yer ready, Ardy dear?


ardlair said...

Well that is spooky, Aunty Belle.

Cos just like you’ve been saving yourself for me, I‘ve been saving myself for you!
You must know that I got something under my old cassock that would definitely get you interested!
But it ain’t a tee shirt!

I even got round to dreamin’ about you last night….we were on the back porch together. Just like you say. You were sippin’ on some Jackie D, givin’ me that sexy Southern eye.

Me? I was gluggin’ it back…must have figured I needed something to dull the pain of what was to come…

And guess what! You wanted to expose yourself to me! Just like you are saying here! Spooky huh!
Well, I’ve always been one for the ladies and one thing I’ve learnt over all these years……….go with the flow…....when they want it, you want it too……..it’s not like doing those old dances we used to…..you gotta let the lady lead. So we shooed the others away , sipped our drinks together, and got up close. I could see that old horny look in your eyes, like you used to get when you watched old Rhett Butler strut his stuff in Gone with the Wind.
Lawdy, I was fearing for my safety!

And sure enough you started undoing the buttons on that lovely floral high necked dress. Y’know the one I mean?
Slowly, from neck to navel, the buttons were undone.
And in this hot weather?
Well, I wouldn’t bother with anything else underneath either Aunty Belle….if you’ve got it, flaunt it.

That dress slipped from your shoulders like snow from a wall.
And there you were.
Naked before me.
No tee shirt in my dream Belle.
Just pure, unadulterated, naked Aunty Belle.

And Jumpin’ Jesuits……….. ah nearly shit myself!

Cos you ain’t no Aunty……. You’re an Uncle!

Ah done a lot of things in my life, particularly after a bit of liquor, but I have my limits.

And cross-dressing gay christians is one!

Then I woke up…..jeez I was lathered in a sweat!
I sure had a close shave!
Next time we speak I’ll keep the Dog, Bogs and Fini right close by!

So, Aunty Belle, I’m mighty relieved to hear that in real life you wear that tee-shirt with the nice college boy slogan beneath your dress……stops folks from seeing what’s really underneath!!

Aunty Belle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aunty Belle said...

Ardy! A cassock? On top of yer kilt?

ardlair said...

for you honey chile..........anything.

long as you keep your own clothes firmly on.

Hellpig said...

How come you didn't caution the sweet shoat?

Aunty Belle said...

Oh Hail--Pig, ya done peeked??!!

Well, I didn't figur it'd bother yer much if ya saw that hairshirt...but Ardlair in a Cassock--uh huh, well, let's jes' say he's in the wrong little company.

I'll be more careful of sweet shoat from here on out.

Aunty Belle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hellpig said...

yer right,nuttin bothers the pig

cept Illegal Aliens,Muslim Terrorists,and Pro-Terrorism Liberals

Aunty Belle said...

Well, as I said over at yore sty, I could kiss a pig! One thang fer shur--no pig smart of you is goanna end up in Uncle's Pork Rinds!!

infinitesimal said...

Holy Porno Moley!!!

Strip teasin' and wet dreamin'!!

Damn, I gotta check in with you more often Belle!
You's a wile chile!!