War is Good

Caution: Contentious topic. Lookin' fer sompin' more upliftin'? Go round to the FRONT Porch


Jes' think, all that angst we's hearin' over the population explosion; well, war is the answer, cause it eliminates a heap o' folks in a short time, and keeps on killin as famine and disease gits aholt of the ones left in the warring regions. Very efficient means of controllin' populations.

Even better is that wars kill men in they prime--hoo whee!! This means that they ain't gonna be he-ing and she-ing, so ya can be sure that the next generation will be even smaller--as mah enlightened niece says, "like wow, totally awesome."

Also, war is good to give rebels and revolutionaries sompin' to do againt others rather than they own home folks. A little judicious slaughter heah and theah against yore neighbors across the border keeps better peace at home. We's all fer peace, ain't we?

War is good. It makes sure that despots can have a reason to blackmail peaceful folks and thus the despot is assured money for a steady supply of cocaine and women and video games his for his twenty-two mansions, and tuition at Harvard and Yale for the lil' despots-in-trainin'. One thang that despots is good fer is provin' that they's civilized as Hollywood's finer folks, AL Franken, Mickey Moore and George Clooney.

Another thang is that war is good for? Why it is marvelous laboratory for the social Darwinism thang...ya' knows, where they ain't no defined right or wrong, good or evil...jes' nature heavin and huffin', workin' things out according to survival of the fittest. So those too weak to make it in this heah enlightened age can be thankful that war gives them a quick out-- so they doan have to suffer the indignities of work and struggle. Death wif dignity, sorta'...an' since you ain't fit, but was a only mutatin' Darwinian accident of nature, ain't no need to keep ya around, so a dignified death at the hands of the more fittin' folks is nature's plan fer ya...go wif it.

War is jes' SO good. Really good in he long long run, cause them Sierra folks an other eco-fiends doan think human "parasites" oughta be heah anyhow, it messes up the nomadic routes of the animals, ya know? Them beasts is obstucted by yore house in the Colorado mountains, and nature is strainin' to get back to "natural" times afore they was the putrid likes of us'uns ruinin' thangs for the wolves.

So iffin' we can jes' get up enough wars, we can wipe out these human pests in a few generations and let the earth return to her ownself...Gaia the Glorious.

War is good.


Bird said...

Either you've completely lost it AB (should we call the men in the white coats for you dear?) or you are a master of irony,doublespeak and spin.

Aunty Belle said...
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Aunty Belle said...

Which does ya' prefer, Bird Jewel of the Air?

Hellpig said...

War is Good,it drives the economy,it exposes whack jobs to the public eye

besides ending Slavery,fascism,communism,and nazism WAR never solved anything

ardlair said...

Hi Aunty Belle

A very poorly cast fly.
You will catch few fish with that.

But Hellpig......well I don't think I've ever noticed anything he/she has said before.

How naive to think that slavery, fascism,communism, and nazi-ism are gone from the world. Maybe in suburban somewheresville that you stay. But not in the world. War ain't solved that honey chile. dream on.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

very funny aunty belle. can i get a thousand packs of cigarettes and some big macs with that? you know, just to go ahead and croak and make some space an' all.

who's that guy who is selling the end of people idea for the good of the earth? not ted turner, but the other guy -maybe a congressman or sumpin?

a nice little turn on the irony of which lives which groups are "pro".


Aunty Belle said...

HEy Sweet Shoat!! Uh-huh, thas's right..war never solved anything but the minor irritants of hitler and stalin and such.

Ardlair, Aunty doan need no fish. Lookin ter see how the minds work, what the angle of view is. So now, I'se got a line on your'n.

K-9, rowdy pup!! Naw, we doan wanna off any good pups....specially those that can think like man.

Aunty Belle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hellpig said...

Slavery in the USA ended,Nazi's in germany defeated,fascism in italy defeated,communism in russia and east Germany ended.

one war at a time ardlair be patient

where did I say world?

don't twist my words to make you feel better

And don't put your Liberal whackjob label on me,I live in Seattle not suburban somewheresville.

Aunty Belle said...

WHOA!! Ain't nuthin' wrong wif surburban somwheres...whic'cha want makin' decisions on yore behalf---a spoiled effete who thinks they's got a right to gluttony at the public trough (yore taxes) or a surburan somewhere who's got a real job in the real, actual world we'uns live in and a mind that ain't too tainted by newspeak and the NYTimes.

Mercy Maud, folks...always take the real over the facade. Even if the real ain't as purty as a hollywood set...that set doan look so good when the make-up artisits ain't there to keep up appearances.

velvet acid tongue said...

hey aunty ...

this ain't no fly ... this is masterful irony ...

but me wonders, what would happen to the world economy iffin there was no more war ... lol ... just wonders ...

yes, the world is certainly not a perfect place, but no one said it was ardlair (just you inferring words where there aren't any) ... what is really naive is to not see how in some cases positive changes have been effected because of war.

Aunty Belle said...

V.A. Tongue, if no more war, them $$ interests would divert they big bucks it to R&D for takin' tourists to the moon. Microwave the clouds from the moon to create rain in the desert --ain't no tellin' what we might do with the techo-knowledge iffin' we's freed to use it non military needs.

You said: "what is really naive is to not see how in some cases positive changes have been effected because of war."

Exactly, Velvy, exactly.

Bird said...

war is not good, even when its outcome is positive. war is merely the lesser (sometimes) of two evils.

Piggy dear - how did WAR end communisim?

economic shifts and detente brought a change in russia (though i don't know how much better things are there now). china is communist - so is N. Korea. and let's see, did't we lose (to the communists) the vietnam war?

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

yes we did bird. thanks to the impeachment of nixon. we left our SV allies hanging in the wind, and pol pot stepped in to fill the void and murdered millions. thats what happens when we lose wars.

the desire to burn nixon for political purposes cost millions their lives. hows that for "the greater good"?


Bird said...

whoa! burn nixon for political purposes? wait -wait- didn't we pull out of vietnam BEFORE watergate?

and, burn for political pruposes - he was a freaking theif and damn near treasonous too boot! he trashed the constitution for crying out loud!

infinitesimal said...

War happens after the elders of several prominant families collectively agree that they will amass more wealth by having them.

They then take off whatever flowing robes and hats replete with fez' that denote membership of the elite conference, don their everyday business suits and inform the speechwriters to proceed preparing the public for the set up.

About a year or so later, once the groundwork is laid, we launch the attack, or prepare to defend as the opposite family launches the "attack"

Anyone ever notice how Bin Laden got the blame, Saddam was taken out of the game, and now we have the approach by which to lay pipes down in IRAN (via IRAQ).
IRAN being a bastion of as yet untapped oil.
Bin-Ladins stand to make some money in that deal as soon as it is complete, and they will, in exchange for their silence.

I say, in about four years, we are gonna have a need to make a big WAR with IRAN... directly after all of our oil pumping equipment is in place.

When that happens, you can remember that you read it here first.

and that is just my 2 cents on war.

PS: we blew up our own pentagon and paid those guys to take the fall for the WTC.
believe it. Physics alone can prove it for you.

Thanks Belle, for letting me speak my piece on your porch.
and glad you got rid of that yippy yappy little texan dog too.

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

bird, i will have to go back and review it, but i believe LBJ stopped bombing in order to give HH a leg up in the election. nixion had a plan to get out of the war but with victory, the plan was arming the SV to make them more capable of dealing with the communist threat themselves while pulling our troops out. hanoi was bombed in 72 which emboldend the SV and they did fight bravely but congress undercut the gameplan by cutting off funds. the peace agreement was signed before the resignation in 74 but was not honored (obviously).

i agree that trashing the USC is treason and nixon had it coming, but a delay, or some sensitivity in timing might have saved millions in the killing fields by allowing the president to see the policy through. i believe the NV took advantage of the sea change and once again congress paved the way.