What's Wrong wif' the World??

Folks, Aunty Belle done been off a gallivantin' again. I wuz in a mid-Atlantic state jawin' fer mah supper and had two experiences that illustrate Whats-Wrong-with-the -World.

First, in that state they's a heap o' deer eatin' up flowers and vegetable gardens. Them bucks come ter the edge of the road at night. They's a plague. From the airport, late at night, driving out ter the venue thar' was a Kenyan cab driver. One o' them bucks ran alongside the cab....the Kenyan said, "There are not enough lions in this country."

Indeed.

The other thang wrong wif' this world is that women-folk doan know they place in the world.

When feminaziism reared its ugly head, may Mama done said "Why on earth would I want to be equal to a man? I prefer to remain superior."

Indeed.

Truth be told, when lady folks doan do they real job, the world wobbles outa balance....and people try ter git a footing, but they's jes' a staggerin' all around with the world wobblin' under 'em. Ain't that right?

What is a Lady's REAL job, youse askin'? Well, she can be CEO of a Fortune 500, an' thas' good, I reckon, but she can do better.

Here is her REAL deal;

"The shortest way of summarizing the position is to say that woman stands for the idea of Sanity; that intellectual home to which the mind must return after every excursion on extravagance. The mind that finds its way to wild places is the poet's; but the mind that never finds its way back is the lunatic's. There must in every machine be a part that moves and a part that stands still; there must be in everything that changes a part that is unchangeable. And many of the phenomena which moderns hastily condemn are really parts of this position of the woman as the center and pillar of health. Much of what is called her subservience, and even her pliability, is merely the subservience and pliability of a universal remedy; she varies as medicines vary, with the disease. She has to be an optimist to the morbid husband, a salutary pessimist to the happy-go-lucky husband. She has to prevent the Quixote from being put upon, and the bully from putting upon others. The French King wrote--

"Toujours femme varie
Bien fol qui s'y fie,"

But the truth is that woman always varies, and that is exactly why we always trust her. To every adventure and extravagance with its antidote in common-sense is not (as the moderns seem to think) to be in the position of a spy or a slave.

It is to be in the position of Aristotle or (at the lowest) Herbert Spencer, to be a universal morality, a complete system of thought. The slave flatters; the complete moralist rebukes. It is, in short, to be a Trimmer in the true sense of that honorable term; which for some reason or other is always used in a sense exactly opposite to its own. It seems really to be supposed that a Trimmer means a cowardly person who always goes over to the stronger side.


It really means a highly chivalrous person who always goes over to the weaker side; like one who trims a boat by sitting where there are few people seated. Woman is a trimmer; and it is a generous, dangerous and romantic trade."

---GK CHESTERTON, What's Wrong With the World.